Monday, August 15, 2005

Review: Bob The Builder

For Morgan's entire life, our house has been the site of constant repair/improvement/remodeling projects. So we were pretty excited when our PBS station started showing Bob the Builder on weekends. Maybe Morgan would be inspired to help us!Maybe Bob could teach us a thing or two!

Right away, we knew we found in Bob someone who we could relate to. Before each project, Bob and his team ask, "Can we build it?". Their enthusiastic answer? "Yes! We! Can!" Just like us!!! Can we install new doors? Yes! We! Can!
Can we replace the drywall? Yes! We! Can!
Can we tile the bathroom? Yes! We! Can!
Can we hang curtains without ripping a hole in the wall? Yes! We! Can!
See? We're just as optimistic about our projects as Bob.

Unfortunately, just like for Bob, something usually goes wrong for us somewhere a long the line. But the Bob show has given us a new perspective on why things go awry. Its all the equipment's fault. Now, we've always suspected this, but its nice to be validated. Bob and his partner Wendy are saddled with a completely neurotic - and mostly incompetent - crew of construction equipment. There's Dizzy, the cement mixer with ADHD. Scoop, the self-absorbed digger. Lofty, the multi-phobic crane. Muck, the hot-headed digger/dumper who's also afraid of the dark. And Rolley, the steamroller who parties too hard. Working together, these trucks manage to screw up just about every project Bob undertakes.

This must be what is happening at our house too! Trees getting root rot because they're planted too deep? Our shovel must have low self-esteem and was trying to impress us with how far down he could dig. Paint drips on the walls? Paintbrushes are just trying to get attention. Kitchen sink leaking? The garbage disposal must be fighting with the wrenches again. Nails won't go in straight? Maybe our hammer is afraid of loud noises.

With such lousy equipment, its amazing that we get anything accomplished at all! But we do. Just like Bob the Builder, we always manage to get the job done. Our methods, however, differ slightly from Bob here. While he remains eerily calm throughout each ordeal - even when stranded on a scaffolding overnight because Lofty was afraid of heights - we tend to curse and yell, throw and kick things. We're probably not helping our tools' emotional issues very much. Maybe we should learn from Bob the Builder and be a little more patient.

Or maybe not.

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